Twisted BDay
by The Three Mexicans
Summary: Sup peoples? Green Devil here with the summary. A birthday party for our cuz Alex goes kinda twisted when we invite the Toa to it. Lots of stuff happens. Please R&R!


Sam: Hi everyone! Green Devil here!  
  
Des: And I'm Desirae (Jeff's 1 girl!  
  
Sam: We have another one of our twisted stories for you all! Hope you like!  
  
Des: Yeah!  
  
Sam: Hey, have you noticed anything weird?  
  
Des: What? You mean the fact that we're doing a story without our third Mexican Alex?  
  
Sam: Yeah that one.  
  
Des: Oh. Then no, I haven't noticed! ^-^  
  
Sam: Oh god, save me! Anyway, this fic is dedicated to our dear beloved Alex who's b-day was March 15. This fic is our b-day present to him. Happy birthday los--Alex! XD  
  
Des: Yea, happy thanksgiving! ^-^  
  
Sam: Oh god! _ So now, onto the fic! ^_^!  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story except for ourselves . . .Wait. We own ourselves? I could've sworn . . .Never mind! Anyway, all the others belong to Lego (Bionicle), the WWE (Jeff Hardy), and/or anyone else who owns them. Enjoy! XD!  
  
X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~  
  
"Twisted B-Day"  
  
By: The Three Mexicans  
  
"Hey Fesirae! Guess what today is!" Sam exclaimed happily as she ran into the living room.  
  
"Time for you to get your own house and stop calling me that?" Desirae asked hopefully.  
  
"No silly, it's Alex's birthday!" Sam smiled.  
  
" . . .Who's Alex?"  
  
"Your little cousin you idiot! How many times do I have to tell you! Urgh! You need a new brain."  
  
"Yeah . . ."  
  
" . . .Loser . . .Anyway, lets throw a surprise party for him!"  
  
"Alright, a surprise party! . . .For who?"  
  
"AGH! WHY do I even bother." Sam growled and left the room.  
  
" . . .Freak." Des turned back to the t.v and continued to watch her favorite show, 'Barney'.  
  
X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X  
  
"Okay Alex, have fun with Jeff doing . . .manly things and having . . .manly fun!" Sam and Des smiled and pushed the two out the door, slamming it in their faces.  
  
"Good, they're gone. Now come on! Let's decorate! You do the invites and I'll do the important stuff." Sam ordered and placed a pile of paper in Desirae's arms.  
  
"But--"  
  
"No buts, now go!"  
  
"Aw, man." Des turned and headed towards the kitchen table to do the cards. "Hey, you know, I just thought of something."  
  
"You shouldn't think, you'll hurt yourself." Samantha said as she pinned a banner up.  
  
"How the hell are we suppose to get this done in one day? If I send the cards right now, they won't get them until tomorrow or something."  
  
"Hmm. You're actually right for once. Call them then."  
  
"Okay!" Desirae took out a giant phone book entitled 'The Awesome Phone Book of Awesome Phone Numbers'. She flipped through a few pages then finally came to a number she didn't know. 'Hmm, how about this one?' She dialed the number and the phone began to ring.  
  
After a few seconds someone picked up. "Hello?"  
  
"Hello!" Desirae exclaimed.  
  
"Who's this?" the voice asked.  
  
"Who's this?"  
  
"I asked you first."  
  
"Nuh-uh, I asked you first."  
  
"You did not. Who the hell is this?!"  
  
"How the hell am I suppose to know!"  
  
"Because you're you!"  
  
"Am not! I'm you!"  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Gyaa! Idiot!" they hung up.  
  
"What happened?" Sam asked as Desirae hung up as well.  
  
"They weren't home." Des smiled.  
  
"Oh. Well then try another number. How about those Toa people. Alex likes them."  
  
"What are Toa people?"  
  
" . . .Toa people . . ."  
  
"Oooooh . . .Okay!" Desirae looked through 'The Awesome Phone Book of Awesome Phone Numbers' and found the number for the Toa people then dialed it.  
  
" . . .Hello?"  
  
"Hello, is the Toa people there?" Des asked.  
  
" . . .The . . .Toa people? Uh, I'm a Toa . . ."  
  
"Then you must be the one I'm looking for!"  
  
"Never could've guessed that . . ."  
  
"Really? That's sad."  
  
"Ugh! What do you want?!"  
  
"Uhhhhh, hold on. Hey Sam, someone's on the phone for you!"  
  
"What?! You're suppose to talk to them!"  
  
"But they want you!"  
  
"I do not! I don't even know any of you!" the other person on the phone shouted.  
  
"Sure you do. I'm Desirae, and that's Samantha." Des pointed.  
  
"Yeah, like I can see."  
  
"You're blind?!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Then why can't you see?"  
  
The other growled in rage.  
  
"Hey Tahu, who you talkin to?" a voice asked the other voice.  
  
"Uh, it's for you." Tahu shoved the phone into the other's hands.  
  
"Um, hello?"  
  
"Hi! Who's this?"  
  
"Who's this?"  
  
"I asked you first."  
  
"But you're the one who called."  
  
"No, you called me."  
  
"I did not you freaking liar!"  
  
"Sam, the pizza man wants to talk to you!"  
  
"Pizza man? What the fuck?" Sam took the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Who's this?"  
  
"Who's this?"  
  
"I'm Lewa, Toa of air."  
  
"Like I give a damn. Are you coming to the party or not?!"  
  
"There's a party?"  
  
"Yeah . . .Wait. DESIRAE! YOU'VE BEEN TALKING FOR THIS LONG AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MENTIONED THE PARTY?!" Sam yelled.  
  
"There's a party?! COOL! I'll go get ready!" Desirae squealed.  
  
"God I hate my life." Samantha mumbled shaking her head. She turned back to the phone. "So you coming or not?"  
  
"Uh, I guess . . ."  
  
"Good! See you then!"  
  
"Wait! Where do you live?"  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Sam replied slyly.  
  
"No for real! I need to know so we can get to the party."  
  
"Oh. It's 666 Asylum Road. You can't miss it since it's right in front of the Backfield Asylum."  
  
"Umm, okay, see you there . . ." the voice replied a little freaked out and hung up.  
  
Desirae walks in and shows off her clothes. "Don't I look good?"  
  
"Isn't that the same thing you were wearing right now?" Sam asked.  
  
"Well, yeah."  
  
" . . .Loser."  
  
"So what now?"  
  
"We finish the house. I'll continue to decorate while you decide on what games to play."  
  
"Okay!" Desirae grinned and ran to her room to find some games while Samantha threw streamers and stuff everywhere.  
  
X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X  
  
"Come on Jeff, it'll be fun!" Alex said as he pulled him toward a small building.  
  
"But I don't need to go in there, I have Desirae!"  
  
"That's more than enough reason to go in."  
  
" . . .True . . ."  
  
"Then lets go!" Alex pulled him in the door.  
  
"Sorry, no little kids allowed in 'The Scrub'." the bouncer said blocking the way.  
  
"I ain't a little kid! I just turned eleven!" Alex shouted.  
  
"Oh, well then come right in sir!" the bouncer replied as he held open the door.  
  
"Thank you." Alex and Jeff walked in. They sat at one of the tables and watched what was going on. A girl named Lucky came out and began to dance.  
  
"Ah, this is the life." Alex said as he sat back in his chair. "What do you think Jeff? . . .Jeff?" Alex looked around and saw him on the stage with the girl.  
  
"Meow." the girl purred as she circled Jeff. She was about to do something naughty to him but Alex pulled him away.  
  
"You know, on second thought, lets just go back home." Alex said as he dragged away a dazed Jeff Hardy. They got in the car and Alex drove home, but not before backing into a parked car, crashing into another parked car, and scraping his car along another parked car on the side.  
  
"This driving thing isn't so bad. I don't know how people crash in these things." Alex said.  
  
X~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~X  
  
Desirae blew into the balloon then inhaled . . .the same air. "Saaaammmm! The balloons won't blow up!" She whined.  
  
"What do you mean? How hard is it to blow up a balloon?" Sam asked walking into the living room.  
  
"Very hard."  
  
"Ugh. Show me how you're doing it." Desirae blew into the balloon then inhaled . . .the same air. "Oh god, have mercy!" Sam cried as she held her head.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
'YOU!' Sam's mind shouted. "Oh never mind!"  
  
The doorbell rang.  
  
"I'll get it!" Des yelled and ran to the door then opened it. Six different colored Toa people were standing there.  
  
"Hi, we're here for--"  
  
"We don't want any!" she slammed the door.  
  
"Who was it?" Sam asked.  
  
"Pftt! Like if I know."  
  
"Grrr! One of these days Desirae, one of these days . . ."  
  
"What's gonna happen?" Des asked cheerfully.  
  
"URGH! Never mind!!" She walked to the door mumbling something about counting to ten. "What do you want?"  
  
"Uh, we're here for the party." the green one said.  
  
"Oh, well come on in. Maybe YOU'LL know how to blow up a balloon." She glares evilly at Desirae who's sitting on the floor trying to blow up the same balloon.  
  
"Well okay." the blue Toa replied.  
  
"So what are all of your names?" Sam questioned.  
  
"I'm the leader Tahu, Toa of fire." the red one said.  
  
"Hey, you were the one I talked to aren't you?" Des asked.  
  
"You're the one!" Tahu growled and tried to attacked her but was held back by the white one.  
  
"I'm Kopaka, Toa of ice." he introduced himself and threw Tahu onto the ground then stepped on his back to keep him from getting up.  
  
"I'm Gali, Toa of water." the blue one said.  
  
"Are you a guy?" Des asked.  
  
"What?! No! I'm a girl!" Gali shouted.  
  
"Oh . . .You have a stupid name."  
  
"What?!" Gali also tried to attack her but a brown one held her back.  
  
"Gali calm down." he ordered.  
  
"Humph! She started it." Gali replied and sat on the couch.  
  
"*coughslutcough* Damn, I think I have something in my throat. *cough*" Des smirked. Gali growled and looked away.  
  
"Um, anyway, I'm Pohatu, Toa of stone." the brown one changed the subject.  
  
"I'm Onua, Toa of earth." the black one said.  
  
"And I'm Lewa, Toa of air." the green one said.  
  
"Oh so you're the one I talked to." Sam said and walked up to Lewa. "Hi there, I'm Samantha but you can call me Sam." she put an arm around his shoulder.  
  
"Um, yeah . . . hi . . ." Lewa blushed.  
  
Onua got between the two. "Hey, back off missy, he's mi--I mean leave him alone." he blushed slightly.  
  
"Fine then." Sam walked away and sat next to Des on the other couch, away from Gali. "Oh, and by the way, this is my little cousin Desirae. Des for short."  
  
"Hey." she said.  
  
"Hey." Everyone else, except Gali, replied.  
  
"So what's this party for anyway?" Tahu asked.  
  
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . .I forgot." Des smiled.  
  
Sam rubbed her forehead. "Just kill me now." she mumbled. "This is a birthday party for our little cousin Alex. He just turned eleven and he likes you guys so we decided to invite you to his party." Sam explained.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah. It's a surprise party and he'll be home any second now . . .Oh look, there he is!" Sam pointed outside the window. "Everyone hide and turn off the lights!" They all did as told.  
  
"Ugh, stupid Jeff . . .Stupid door . . .Stupid key . . .Stupid light . . .Stupid . . .hey!" Alex looked around the darkened room then turned on the light.  
  
"SURPRISE!!!!" Everyone shouted and jumped from their hiding places.  
  
"AHHHHHH!!" Alex screamed and ran back out the door.  
  
"Uhhh, was that suppose to happen?" Des asked.  
  
"No . . .Stupid Alex." Sam grumbled.  
  
"Jeff, go after him!" Des yelled.  
  
"Uh, yes Lucky!" Jeff turned but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Uh, Jeff, who's Lucky?" Des hand an evil look in her eye.  
  
"Ha ha! You're boyfriend's cheating on you!" Gali shouted.  
  
"Well at least I'm not a slut like you!"  
  
Gali gasped. "How dare you! DIE!" the two began to fight.  
  
"CAT FIGHT!"  
  
Alex comes back. "Where?!" he shouted.  
  
"Right there." Jeff pointed.  
  
"Aw, it's just Desirae. How boring. So why's she fighting? Cause she found out that we went to a strip club and you were with that dancer named Lucky?"  
  
"Uhhhh . . ." The fight suddenly stopped.  
  
"WHAT was that?" Des asked, her eye twitching.  
  
"Uhhhh . . ."  
  
"Oh, so you haven't told her?" Alex asked.  
  
"Uhhhh . . ."  
  
"Jeff, what did he just say?"  
  
"Uhhhh . . ."  
  
"JEFF!!"  
  
"Uhhhh . . .It was Alex's idea! It was all him! He made me!" Jeff cried.  
  
"I did not you liar! I might've made you go in, but I didn't make you go on that dance floor with Lucky!"  
  
"JEFF HARDY, YOU BASTARD! You killed Kenny!"  
  
"Huh?!" everyone looks at Des.  
  
"Sorry, I just always wanted to say that." she smiled.  
  
"Uh . . .huh . . ."  
  
"Anyway, Jeff you're dead!" Des ran after him.  
  
"Eep!" Jeff took off. "Wait Desirae, I love you!"  
  
"Freakin liar." Sam mumbled.  
  
"Really Jeff?" Des got all starry eyed.  
  
"Um, yeah . . ."  
  
"Oh Jeff! . . .That was so gay, just like you!" she said and went over to Pohatu. "Hi! Wanna go out?"  
  
"Uhhhhh . . .No?"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"I mean, YES! Yes, of course I will!"  
  
"Pftt! Like I'd go out with you." Desirae said and sat down on a couch.  
  
"Uh . . .Anyone wanna play any games?" Sam asked.  
  
"Okay." everyone agreed.  
  
"So what should we play?" Alex asked.  
  
"Hell if I know." Sam replied.  
  
"Hmm . . ." there was a moment of silence as everyone thought.  
  
"How about . . .'Pin the Tail on the Donkey'?" Alex asked.  
  
"Alex, that is the stupidest game in the world but since it's your birthday, we'll play." Sam sighed.  
  
"Yay!" Des exclaimed and set up the game. "Who's first?"  
  
"Alex since he's the birthday boy." Sam replied and pushed Alex over to Des so she could tie the blindfold on him. She then spun him around ten times. "Okay, ready Alex?"  
  
"Yeeeaahhh . . ." he replied a little dizzy.  
  
"Good. Now go!" Des 'accidentally' pushed him into a wall. "Whoops!"  
  
" . . .Ow . . ." he twitched.  
  
"Um, anyone else wanna try?" Sam looked around and saw that the Toa were all very frightened at the moment. "Des?"  
  
"I'll go!" Desirae yelled.  
  
"Okay." Sam tied the blindfold over her eyes and spun her around. "Can you see? How many fingers am I holding up?" she held up four.  
  
"Uhhh, three?"  
  
"Good. Now go!" Sam moved out of the way as Desirae began to look for the donkey. She turned and headed straight for Gali.  
  
"Hey!" the blue Toa screamed and jumped out of the way but Des kept going after her. "Can't see, my ass!"  
  
Des laughed maniacally. "Nope, can't see a thing!" she grinned and was able to pin the tail to Gali's arm.  
  
"OOOWWWW! That hurts!" Gali began to attack Des again.  
  
" . . .Anybody want cake?" Sam shrugged.  
  
"Alright!" everyone shouted and went to the kitchen.  
  
"You two coming?" Sam asked the two who were still fighting.  
  
They stopped. "Cake! Yay!" they ran to the kitchen.  
  
"Idiots. I'm surrounded by idiots." Sam rubbed her forehead and followed them. "So where's the cake?"  
  
"Right here!" Des exclaimed as she pulled it out of the fridge. She then placed it on the table in front of where Alex sat. The birthday boy opened the top of the box it was in and sweat dropped.  
  
"Um, Desirae, you shouldn't have." he fake smiled. 'No really, you SHOULDN'T have.' he thought and glared at his cousin.  
  
Everyone looked at the cake and saw that it read 'Happy B-Day Alex!' and had a picture of Desirae posing for a camera with her arms folded under her chin, smiling.  
  
"Desirae! I told you to put a cute picture!" Sam yelled.  
  
"It is a cute picture!" Des protested.  
  
"Of Alex!!"  
  
"But I thought that was Alex."  
  
Alex growled then grabbed her arm and started to twist it.  
  
"Ow ow ow ow, let me go! JEFF! He's hurting me!" Jeff grabbed Alex and pried his hands off of Desirae's. He then sat him back down in his chair.  
  
"Ugh. Lets just say happy birthday, cut the cake, and then we can open presents." Sam said.  
  
"Presents? We were suppose to bring presents?" Lewa whispered to Onua.  
  
"I guess so. Why didn't you say it was a birthday party?" Onua whispered back.  
  
"They didn't say it was a birthday party! They just said it was a party!"  
  
"Oh. Well then lets just find something around here."  
  
"Okay." they both looked around and grabbed the closest things they could find.  
  
"Okay, one, two, three!"  
  
"Somebody told us that it was your birthday!" Jeff sang.  
  
"Bum, bum, bum, bum!" Everyone else sang.  
  
"So we thought we'd come over and say!"  
  
"Bum, bum, bum, bum!"  
  
"Happy birthday!"  
  
"Bum, bum, bum, bum!"  
  
"Happy birthday!"  
  
"Bum, bum, bum, bum!"  
  
"Happy birthday to you!"  
  
"And many more!"  
  
"Now blow out your candles!" Sam ordered. Alex did as told then everyone clapped. Tahu then walked up behind Alex and pushed his head into the cake.  
  
"Hey! What was that for!" Alex cried as he tried to wipe his face.  
  
Tahu laughed. "It was so I could laugh at you! HAHA!"  
  
"Urgh!" Alex then smirked and grabbed a chunk of the cake then hurled it at Tahu's head.  
  
"Hey!" Tahu got mad and did the same thing back.  
  
"CAKE FIGHT!" Pohatu yelled and everyone grabbed the cake and began to throw it at each other. About ten minutes later there was nothing left of the poor cake.  
  
"Well that was surprisingly fun." Kopaka stated.  
  
"Yeah. Okay, present time!" Alex shouted and ran to the living room. Everyone else followed with their presents . . .the one's they found in the house or made on the spot.  
  
"So who's first?"  
  
"I'll go. Here." Tahu handed Alex a ball . . .of fire!  
  
"Ahh! It burns!" he dropped it and it landed in a glass of water. "Huh?"  
  
"Here's my present. Water from Ga-Koro, my village." Gali said.  
  
"Oh. What a great present." Alex said sarcastically.  
  
"What a cheap-o." Des muttered making Gali glare angrily at her.  
  
"Anyway, here's my gift." Pohatu gave Alex his.  
  
"A . . .rock?"  
  
"Not just any rock. It's a pretty, shiny rock." Pohatu smiled.  
  
"Um, yeah. It's . . .nice . . .Next?"  
  
"Here. Have fun while it lasts." Kopaka gave Alex a snow ball.  
  
"Wow! Just what I always wanted! A snow ball! Aw, thanks Kopaka!"  
  
"Why does he get so excited over a stupid snow ball?" Tahu asked.  
  
"Well, maybe it's cause we live in a desert where we never get to see snow." Sam replied.  
  
"That COULD be reason . . ."  
  
"Oh my god." Sam grumbled. "I thought he was smart."  
  
"Here, I got you a trophy." Onua gave it to the birthday boy.  
  
"What's it for?"  
  
"Uhhh . . ." Onua read the label. "Most Stupidest Player."  
  
"Heeyyy. That sounds sussppp . . .supsis . . . supisissoussly . . ."  
  
"Desiare, how many times have I told you not to use big words?" Sam said.  
  
"Uh . . .a lot of times?"  
  
"Good."  
  
"But that trophy's like mine!"  
  
"No it's not cause you don't get trophies."  
  
"Oh yeah, huh?"  
  
"Anyway, last present! Lewa, the floor's all yours!" Sam smiled.  
  
"Um, yeah . . .Here."  
  
"It's . . .a spoon . . ."  
  
"Not only that, it's a GREEN spoon." Lewa smiled.  
  
"Uh . . .huh . . .Well that's nice."  
  
"Hey, I have a green spoon . . .Could that be . . .Naw!" Sam whispered.  
  
"Okay, now for the presents from my two favorite cousins." Alex said proudly.  
  
"Okay, Des, give him his present."  
  
"But I don't have a present from myself! I only have the one we worked on together!" Des whispered.  
  
"Oh . . .Well then, this party is my present for you! Happy birthday Alex!" Sam smiled.  
  
"What?! Hey, that's no fair!"  
  
"Too bad, so sad!" Sam grinned.  
  
"Well then . . .Here Alex!" Des gave him a ticket for Roller King.  
  
"Why would I want to go to Roller King? I hate that place."  
  
"Well if you don't want it, I'll use it!" she took it back.  
  
"Yeah . . ."  
  
"And now, here's the best present of all from me AND Desirae." Sam gave Alex a pile of papers.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Read it!" he did so and the title read 'Twisted B-Day'. "We wrote it just for you!"  
  
"Aww, thanks guys! You're the best!" Alex hugged Sam then looked at Des who was waiting for her hug. "Pftt! Like I'd hug you!"  
  
"What?! Die!" Desirae began to chase Alex around.  
  
"Um, well, you can all go home now if you want." Sam offered.  
  
"It was a great party!" Lewa smiled.  
  
"Great my ass . . ." Gali mumbled.  
  
"Yeah, it was cool." Onua said.  
  
"Maybe if you have another one you could invite us again?" Pohatu suggested.  
  
"Yeah, I'll think about it." Sam replied.  
  
"Goodbye." Kopaka said.  
  
"Yeah." Tahu added. The six of them turned and walked out the door. As they did, a girl walked up to them.  
  
"Have any of you seen Jeff? I'm Lucky." She placed an arm over Tahu's shoulders and a hand on his chest. "Meow." she purred in his ear.  
  
"Um, no, we haven't." Tahu replied a bit shakily. Just then, they heard a car start.  
  
"Its all your fault Des hates me now! DIE!" Jeff stepped on the gas and the car went straight for Lucky but she jumped out of the way at the last second so the car ran right into the Toa. They all went flying. "Oops."  
  
"AHHHH!" and they flew all the way back to Mata Nui.  
  
Jeff looked around and noticed that Lucky was gone. "Yeah, you better be gone." he said then went inside.  
  
*Sounds from inside the house*  
  
"Well hello there Jeff. I saw what happened outside."  
  
"Y--you did? Uhhh . . ."  
  
"So that was Lucky?"  
  
"Uhhh . . ."  
  
"Jeff . . ."  
  
"Uhhh . . .I'm gonna hurt now, aren't I?"  
  
"You sure are Jeff, you sure are . . ."  
  
"Eep . . ."  
  
A chainsaw is heard.  
  
"AHHHHH! GET HER AWAY FROM ME!"  
  
X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~  
  
Sam: The end!  
  
Des: That was fun!  
  
Alex: Aww, thanks for writing a story just for me!  
  
Des: It was for you?  
  
Sam: Yeeeaaahh.  
  
Des: Oh . . .Who are you?  
  
Sam: GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!  
  
Alex: Sam, calm down! You know she can't help herself! You're the one who dropped her you know.  
  
Sam: Yeah, well . . .Oh, just end it.  
  
Des: Hope you liked! Oh and just so you don't think I'm a Bionicle hater or anything, I don't even know what Bionicle is. All I know about it is that Alex and Sam have a lot of the toys and they hurt me at night. T_T  
  
Alex: Yeah. So don't be mad about that.  
  
Sam: Okay, hope you liked the fic.  
  
All three: PLEASE REVIEW!  
  
Sam: ^_^  
  
Des: ^-^  
  
Alex: :) 


End file.
